 This post was written by Devon Bookman, a fellow mom and sleep consultant in training at Happy Sleeping Baby.
I will never forget the reaction of my husband’s parents when they heard our white noise machine for the first time. They looked concerned, yet were respectful, as they asked why we had “jet plane noise” playing while our daughter slept. I still laugh when I think about this moment. They probably thought my parenting techniques were a little strange and maybe a little too American (my husband and his parents are Swedish). To their defense, I understand why they were skeptical. Most people believe that you must produce a quiet environment for good sleep. Therefore adding-in noise can feel counterintuitive and might go against everything you were once taught. So, before you form your own opinion, let’s dive into what noise really is. White noise is essentially an ambient sound, such as a whirring fan or air conditioner. Noises can be described in different colors depending on their frequency. White noise is mainly known for camouflaging other sounds that might occur naturally in an environment. Now speaking of jet plane noise….Have you ever been on an airplane, and before taking off, you started to feel really sleepy? Have you ever caught yourself nodding-off? This happens to me all the time. This is a perfect example of the effect of white noise on our brains. The humming sound calms the mind, which in effect, induces sleep. Studies have shown that white noise can help both babies and adults fall asleep faster. Now I can see why. What about the other benefits of white noise? Does your baby have a loud, older sibling? Do you live in the city where you hear sirens? Do you unload the dishwasher during baby’s naptime and cringe at the clinking of the plates against each other? Maybe you forgot to turn your phone on silent and the ringer is super loud. Or, what if you like to entertain past your baby’s bedtime? Now, let’s say your baby is sleeping in the next room over. White noise is great for blocking-out these sounds so your little one can sleep longer and better. So how do I get white noise, you ask? There are many Spotify playlists out there and here's one created by a former client that we recommend for parents. Also, there are a wide variety of white noise machines you can purchase, particularly online. Also, some parents say using an ordinary fan works well too. As for our family, we chose to go “all in” and purchase a white noise machine. We didn't want to rely on turning on Spotify every time. However, this is truly up to personal preference. As I always say, consistency truly is the secret ingredient here. White noise is a big part of our bedtime routine. (Learn more about a great bedtime routine here!) Every time I turn the white noise machine on, my daughter says “Mama night night” because she knows that the sound means it is time for bed! This consistency becomes especially handy during the toddler years. Now that our daughter is 2, I have never had to fight her to go to sleep– not once! If you stay consistent with using white noise, your baby will start associating the noise with sleep, too. There are many white noise options out there to choose from and it really comes down to your family’s choice in regards to budget, size, and what your options are due to where you live. Here are two white noise machines that are easy to find for parents either in Europe or North America. Both are portable and provide good sound: Yogasleep Hushh portable white noise MyBaby SoundSpa (if the links don't work, just search for the names of the devices) I hope you test out using white noise as a help for your baby's sleep! ~Devon Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use the Happy Sleeping Baby book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep!  This post was written by Devon Bookman, a fellow mom and sleep consultant in training at Happy Sleeping Baby.
In the age of the internet, there is a massive amount of information about baby safety. It can feel quite overwhelming, especially as a first-time parent. It’s hard to know what to relax about…and what to actually take seriously. Safe sleep, I would argue, is one topic to take seriously. Culturally speaking, many people have differing opinions on what sleep should look like. Yet the data still suggests that about 1 in 1,000 babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) every year. And for me, that’s enough to want to know how to prevent it. So what is the safest position for your baby to sleep? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP): the safest way is on their back! Since the AAP made the “back to sleep” recommendation in 1992, the SIDS rate has decreased more than 50%. While it may be difficult to keep your baby on their back, a breathable crib mattress cover can help ease some worry. Once your baby can roll over, they are generally okay to sleep on their stomach. But still keep in mind safe sleep recommendations at all times. What also causes SIDS? Soft surfaces, loose bedding, overhearing with too many blankets, stomach sleeping on soft bedding…and of course smoking by the mother, and poor prenatal care/prematurity. Some of these factors are obvious to many, but some may not be so obvious. Especially the risk associated with loose bedding. For example, here in Sweden, many still use blankets with their babies and don’t know about “Sleep Sacks”. Sleep Sacks are widely used in the United States. A sleep sack is essentially a wearable blanket. It replaces loose blankets in the crib that can cover your baby's face and interfere with breathing. In addition to helping your baby sleep safer, it helps them sleep better, too. It's a warm blanket they cannot kick off. This ensures the baby sleeps soundly throughout the night. I am not sure why Sleep Sacks aren’t as popular in Europe. For our family, we used Sleep Sacks and didn’t allow a blanket or pillow in our daughter’s crib until she was 2 years old. Although slim, the risk of SIDS or suffocation was not worth it, in our eyes. Here are some other precautions we took:
Everything I mentioned above are all recommendations per the American Academy of Pediatrics, National Institute of Child Health and Human Development plus a task force of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety commission. Furthermore, the AAP and the US Department of Health and Human services recommend that parents room-share, but not bed share. Here is what the report advises:
While the true cause for SIDS is unknown, these recommendations can reduce your baby’s risk, prevent suffocation and give them the safest sleeping environment possible. Happy and safe sleeping! Learn more about helping your baby sleep their best with the Happy Sleeping Baby book! Learn more here. Or read more about setting up your baby's room for sleep here: Room Environment Need sleep guidance to help you figure out sleepless nights? Contact us for a free 15-minute call here.  When the leaves start falling off of the trees, you know it's soon time to also fall back an hour with the clocks for daylight savings time.
Our body’s circadian rhythm has a strong influence on our sleep and wake times. As adults we most likely are trying to pay off some sort of sleep debt so, when the clock falls back, we are happy to gain more time in bed (as long as we actually go to sleep at our normal time the night before)! But if you have young kids this change can take time for their bodies to adjust to the new times. To help minimize chaos that the time change can cause in a house with young kids, you can to start adjusting their internal clocks a couple of days before the actual time change. To do this, start splitting the difference in time for naps and nights by 15 - 30 minutes for two days before the change. Start nap and bedtime 15 - 30 minutes earlier until the time change and for two days afterwards. There will be some adjustment time for up to a week but by splitting the time makes the change easier by avoiding too much overtiredness with a full hour change. *For younger babies, 6 to 12 months, adjust the time by 15 minutes every two days until the schedule is back to normal. Older babies can handle the 30 minute change.* If you don't make any changes before the time change, no worries! Just follow the advice below! Naps Before the time change, nap time is normally at 9:00 am After the time change, you’ll fall back 30 minutes and nap will be at 8:30 am (since it is actually 9:30 am in the body) Bedtime Before the time change, bedtime is normally at 7:00 pm. After the time change, you’ll fall back 30 minutes and bedtime will be at 6:30 (since it is actually 7:30 pm in the body) Stick to these times for three days and then go back to your normal times according to what the clock says. Need more guidance about helping your baby sleep? Use the Happy Sleeping Baby book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Or visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep!  This post was written by Devon Bookman, a fellow mom and sleep consultant in training at Happy Sleeping Baby.
Before I became a mother, routines were foreign to me. Inf act, if you asked anyone who knew me before having my daughter, they would laugh if you asked if I was a routine-oriented person. After having a child, however, I found myself (even more so) living moment-to-moment just to get by. I just didn’t understand how routines could make life so much easier rather than overcomplicate what already felt so exhausting. Soon, it became my mission to ensure our family got proper rest. I was willing to try anything -- even if that meant changing the way I was wired. So, I hit the books and tuned-in to what the experts were saying. One big theme I noticed was establishing good routines for both day and night. Simple, yet consistent routines are a good idea to start early on because it helps your baby’s body develop natural sleep/awake rhythms so the right hormones are released at the right times. It also puts less stress on our brains because your child will know what to expect and what happens next. Routines also allow our bodies to better digest food because we are used to eating at certain times of the day. All of this helps your child become naturally ready for sleep. How wonderful! Establishing day time routines was game-changing for our family, but bedtime routines became equally as important. Think of a bedtime routine as laying down the foundation of a house. If you don’t have a solid foundation, the home will not be steady. The same goes for sleep. If you don’t have a proper routine and the right room environment [read more here about The Best Room Environment For Sleep] sleep may not be steady as well. Bedtime routines don’t need to take long. Actually, they shouldn’t last more than 30-40 minutes; keep them short and sweet. If any longer, your child may not see the pattern of what the routine means. Patterns help your child’s brain transition into nighttime, but mostly, they help your child make the connection that it’s time to sleep soon. Here’s a sample routine:
Once your little one starts to grow teeth, you can add-in teeth brushing too. For our family, even if our daughter was clean, we still gave her a warm bath every night. We used soap every other day, or even every few days, so her skin wouldn’t dry out. The consistency of the nightly bath helped wind her down, and soon, she began associating bath time with bedtime. When I finally did lay her down, in her crib, she eventually became a superstar at falling asleep independently. I owe that a lot to our nightly routine. The trick here is true consistency. Try out a night time routine and give it time, like two weeks. It takes time to learn something new and put together that the bedtime process means sleep. Stay consistent and your baby will soon know what their bedtime means! Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use the Happy Sleeping Baby book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep!  This post was written by Devon Bookman, a fellow mom and sleep consultant in training at Happy Sleeping Baby. If you are like me, Awake Windows quickly became my favorite concept when I started learning about baby sleep. The information felt like a secret formula to help our days become more peaceful, and, as a result, our nights more restful. An Awake Window is a period of time that your baby can stay awake...happily. Yes, there is an actual scientifically-proven time frame that your baby should stay awake before they expire and require sleep again. Awake windows work with the science of sleep pressure. Sleep pressure builds in humans while we are awake, gets eliminated while we sleep, and the cycle continues throughout the day. Think of a teapot building steam before it shouts. Has your baby ever seemed wide awake and ready to party? Some parents might think hyper behavior means their baby is not sleepy, while this is often quite the opposite. In fact, when a baby becomes overtired, their little bodies are flooded with the stress hormones called cortisol and adrenaline. This is what keeps them wide awake and full of energy. During our sleep training journey, we learned this the hard way. One evening we went out to a family dinner which resulted in our daughter staying-up way past her bedtime. When we got home, it took us 2 hours of our daughter uncontrollably crying until she was able to calm down and fall asleep. The point is: it is harder to get your baby to fall asleep in an overtired state. Here is my advice: try to find your baby’s most ideal Awake Window. Avoid your baby becoming overtired by sticking to that Awake Window as best you can. Remember, sometimes overtired behavior is unavoidable. There can be other factors at play like when a baby is in the middle of a big development. This happens quite often as babies are constantly growing and changing. Other times it could be that your baby has had too much stimulation. Big changes can also be the culprit, like starting preschool [read more about sleep changes when starting preschool here] is a perfect example of when this may be out of your control. The chart below helped me understand Awake Windows, by age. This is a general chart so your baby might have a slightly different Awake Window times. Newborns ~ 45 mins to 1 hour awake between naps 3-6 Months ~ 1.5 to 2 hours awake between naps 6-13 Months ~ 2.5 to 3.5 hours awake between naps 12 months to 3 Years ~ 4 to 6 hours awake between naps Again, every baby is different, so what works for one mama may not work for you. For our daughter we were more conservative with her Awake Windows. Meaning, we encouraged her to stay awake for shorter periods of time rather than longer periods of time. Test out an Awake Window and see how your baby responds. It may take several attempts to find your baby’s “sweet spot”. Be patient and kind with yourself. Babies are constantly growing and developing. Just when you find the “sweet spot” it could change on you! Stay the course and do your best. You got this. Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use the Happy Sleeping Baby book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or learn more about Awake windows here. 
Your baby's room plays an important role in sleep. Now, I don't actually think the picture is a good representation of a good sleeping environment, but it looks nicer than a completely black picture!
Your child's room environment for sleep is a positive sleep prop to help promote sleep. When your baby wakes up at night, these factors help calm the mind and body to help go back to sleep. These tips not only help babies sleep, but also us as adults too! To encourage the best sleep for any age, an ideal room should:
If some of this sounds strange, remember that your baby came from inside the womb where it was dark, the perfect temperature, and had a constant whooshing sound. Re-make your baby's room to be as womb-like as possible and you'll have more success with sleep. This theory even applies to adults! If you have trouble sleeping, try out this room environment too. Visit the Parent Resources page for more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions. This post is taken from my book, Happy Sleeping Baby ~ Your Guide for Sleep Success, ! Want to order the book? Use the form below:  This post was written by a former client who reached out about creating this white noise album. I use the playlist often when I'm trying to work or relax! Give it a try via the link below in the post. ~Courtney Guest post written by: Kaveh Akaber I’m a filmmaker and composer and have professionally experimented with sound all my adult life and nighttime has always been a creative playground for me. But after our first child, I was struggling to fix my random sleep, take care of my child and try to be creative all at the same time. After years of insomnia, I collapsed. My body said stop. Not even music could calm my senses and make me go to sleep. Doctors advised me to take heavy sleeping pills, but after several weeks I stopped. Before I went to bed, I had a feeling of panic and couldn’t calm myself. This reminded me also of my newborn baby that didn’t have the right tools to calm down before sleep. I have tried various methods to deal with this issue for many years. At one point I was reading an article about different sound therapies. How sound and music could redeem Alzheimer’s patients to start remember again and other sounds that can make you sleep easier. It was during this time I started to look for different methods of white noise sound therapy to deal with my burnt-out state of mind. Sounds are actually ancient life hacks to make you go to sleep. People have used their vacuum cleaner to make noise and get their babies to go to sleep, driving cars for hours, or listening to static on old radios through the whole night. In all of these sounds, you have white noise. Actually, everywhere you go there is noise. Different noise can also be described in various colors depending on which frequency they have. Light waterfalls can be described as pink noise, and heavy waves on sea can be described as brown noise and so on. In my opinion the problem is our surrounding is based on artificial environments with too many sounds that interfere with our senses. We start looking for total silence instead of relaxing or going into deep meditation. But if you think about it, total silence is an even more unnatural state of mind. In our evolution, our minds have developed in light sounds in surroundings. For example, sleeping under the stars, listening to the wind, or sleeping near the sea. White noise can be discovered in all of these natural environments. According to professor Göran Söderlund at Lund´s University, if your body is too tired before sleep you can have a sense of panic stress instead and to fall asleep can take a longer time. Especially babies who don’t have the tool to deal with this issue. White Noise can instead increase the state of alertness and make you more awake and then make you tired quicker and put you to sleep. So, what noise works for you? There are loads of poor recordings and sounds out there, so therefore I started to make my own noises. I created this Relaxing White Noise Sounds for Baby Sleep album inspired by these events and my friend encouraged me to produce one album especially for his baby. I calibrated the white noise with sound recording pulses from other space, the seaside from south Sweden, winds from the mountains in north Scandinavia, and a hairdryer at home. In my studio I almost fell asleep during experimenting with these sounds! So, I thought this might work! This will definitely not solve all your issues with sleeping and a troubled mind, but maybe a good way to make it easier. A strange mind is a strange mind. The only thing you can do is deal with it. /Kaveh Akaber Link to the album Relaxing White Noise Sounds for Baby Sleep: https://open.spotify.com/album/4zdA0jutWM8NmHmOhLFcSE?si=7m3tRtUlT5GSVzNcGIZOvg White noise can be a great part to a perfect bedroom environment. Read more about a great room environment for sleep here.  Welcome to life with a toddler! If you haven't read Part 1 of this series, you can do that here: Starting Preschool (Part1)
As your child adjusts to this new life as a preschooler, don’t over schedule yourself during the first month! If you are stressed with your schedule your child will also feel this along with needed extra time during this adjustment. The first two weeks will be a time of adjusting and learning new routines. Be sure to give yourself and your child time and patience to adapt. Be ready for some early pick-ups, if needed. Then be ready for your child to get sick soon after they begin…you just get back to work and then you are home with a sick kid. Welcome to preschool life! For some tips to help reduce sickness you can read more about how sickness spreads here. Many kids will sleep worse after starting preschool; if this happens you aren’t alone! Often parents tell me that the first two weeks were pretty easy but after that their child didn’t sleep well and became extremely cranky. Making adjustments for a short time is like going on vacation – you can deal with the new schedule, but then you’re ready to get back to normal after about two weeks; except this is the new normal. It’s not uncommon for sleep to get worse because your child is experiencing new environments, new people, different food, a new napping place, and learning how to be away from you. It’s a lot to handle for a little kiddo! You might notice that your child will be sleepier but have a harder time sleeping, they might wake up more often, have more dreams or be upset by dreams, be sad, have anxiety, eat less, or seem unhappy. Be sure to give lots of extra hugs and allow for some extra time for bedtime. This is all really normal! Think about when you last made a new change; you probably also felt a little cranky after a week, or slept worse, ate more or less. Going through change is not any different for you and your child. If you are seeing that your child is tired before their normal bedtime, make bedtime 20 to 30 minutes earlier. You may need to make time for a few more snuggles or an extra book. It’s not uncommon for kiddos to regress with sleep during times of change. Now, what about you? Adapting to life with a preschooler will bring many emotions. Happy, sad, confused, a sense of freedom, or need to cry? Acknowledge your feelings as it’s o.k. to feel anything right now! Think about how much your life has changed in less than two years. Everyone is going to have emotions from these huge changes and there’s no right or wrong feeling. I remember feeling happy to get back to work (I really love to work) but of course sad that my baby was growing up. Don’t be surprised if one parent has an easier or harder time dropping off your child either. This goes both directions; you child may be sadder with one parent, or you might have a harder time dropping your child off or your child may be more upset with one parent than the other. Just know that it’s o.k. to feel sad, happy, relived, or worried. There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Hopefully these tips help you and your child adapt to preschool life. The best part about these tips is that you can apply them to any new changes or at any age. Developing a foundation to handle change builds trust and a strong bond with you and your child. Visit the Parent Resources page for more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions. Find more sleep and development info at Happy Sleeping Baby on Instagram or Facebook!  Starting preschool or daycare (if you are in Sweden it’s förskola) is a big leap for both you and your child. It will come with big emotions for both of you, but helping them to prepare for the transition with ease the changes ahead. It’s never too early to help your child make an adjustment! Providing them with an easier transition helps strengthen the bond and trust between you both.
When working with clients I will often relate starting preschool with making changes with sleep because the concept is the same – make changes according to your child by giving them guidance and support through the difficult period. Change can be hard no matter what age and giving guidance and support helps build trust and reduce their stress. But keep in mind that even when making changes built around trust and guidance there will still be an adaption period that may come out as crankiness, sleeping worse, or sadness. Change can be challenging, but we never want it to be overwhelming for a child. Using the following tips and help ease the transition of starting preschool. Make the transition easier Three to four weeks before: 1) Talk, talk, talk to you child about the change coming up and what they will be doing at pre-school. Make it exciting and fun to hear about! 2) Visit the location. I would suggest walking by several times and talking to your child about them going there soon. Try and visit while the kids are outside playing to get them used to what they will do there. If you feel comfortable, stop in and say hi or ask if you can stop by with your child to say hi for a few minutes. 3) Visit other play places to get your child to being around other children. If possible, let your child explore on their own while you are sitting a little further away and encourage them to explore. This is also great to start at home as well as this builds their skill in a comfortable environment. 4) Choose a comfort item (blanket or stuffed animal) for them to have with them at preschool and keep at preschool. 5) Be confident, happy, and excited when talking about preschool. Your child will mirror your emotions about the changes. One to two weeks before: 1) Begin on the same schedule as your child will have at preschool in regards to eating and sleeping times. 2) Develop a goodbye routine. Wave from the same location to give them consistency. Provide your child with ideas on what they can do if they are sad when you are leaving. For example, let them know they can ask for a hug from a teacher or have a comfort item with them to hold on to. 3) Continue talking, making a stop or two by the preschool, continue giving your child space to play either on their own or with other children, and continue talking about pre-school in a positive way, even if you are feeling unsure or nervous yourself! Our preschool sent a photo of the class and welcomed Taylor with a note. We put the picture up on our fridge and started talking about going to preschool often. It really helped the transition for her to begin on the first day. Starting daycare is a gradual process and I often explain to parents that it’s similar to sleep changes using a Happy Sleep Plan or sleep support. Both are parent assisted processes that allow your child to adapt to the changes. You can’t make the change for them but you are there to help when needed, give guidance, and offer support. To continuing helping your child adapt and develop a positive attitude after they have begun preschool, ask them about their favorite part of their day when you pick them up. Click to read Part 2, where I’ll talk more about what to expect as your child adapts. Find more sleep and development tips at at Happy Sleeping Baby on Instagram or Facebook “Happily ever after … becoming parents” – what happens to your marriage after the baby arrives9/1/2020
 Guest post by Polya Rosin, Sweden’s #1 Relationship Strategist
To have a child is a miracle, right? I doubt there is a mom out there who could name a bigger source of joy and love than her kids. Most couples dream of the day when they become parents, take birthing classes, read parenting books. And little do they prepare for what is to happen to their relationship, once the baby arrives. Did anyone tell you what to expect in your relationship with your spouse once you become parents? Did anyone give you tools and strategies for how to survive and thrive together, not just as parents, but as lovers, as friends, as a happy couple? How much research, time or money did you invest in your relationship, preparing to become parents? My guess is little to none. And yet the biggest impact on your baby’s wellbeing comes from you and your spouse, and the quality of your marriage. So, let’s look at what happens after the baby (or more babies) comes into your family: 1. Your spouse and your relationship just went from #1 to #10 in the priority list and that is hard to accept – nobody likes to see they no longer matter much 2. Your sleep is messed up – you must have heard that before and yet, the impact lack of sleep has on couples is less spoken of. It does not only make couples irritable and prone to spats and arguments but also decreases work performance, self-confidence and overall health. Not to mention the drive for romance and passion… 3. Your privacy is … well,.. not existent – with babies and small kids around, going to the loo is a family event and taking a shower feels like a speed contest. That looks like a big stress factor, doesn’t it? 4. Personal space and “me time” are more of a dream than a reality – and if you have no time for yourself, how can you talk about time for your man, for intimacy or passion? 5. Peer pressure becomes the cherry on top of the self-doubt cake – most mums and most families feel tremendous peer pressure, start to look at what others do. And “keeping up with the Joneses” or the “Kardashians” really helps the self-esteem, doesn’t it? Yes, joking here but you get the point, don’t you? 6. Social isolation – now that’s a bummer. 7. Exhaustion – “It’s just a growth phase, it will pass!”, if I hear this one more time, I might just check myself into a mental clinic. For most families, parenting is an endless string of tantrums, sleepless nights, chores, infections…. So how can anyone make time for dates, love, passion? 8. Lack of intimacy – well, that should come as no surprise by now, shouldn’t it? Intimacy is about how free you feel to be yourself with your spouse and for your spouse to be free to be himself/herself. But with the lack of sleep, exhaustion, self-doubts, irritability and endless chores, how does one even have the patience to just be with the other person, to listen without judgement? Intimacy is like oxygen. Without it, any relationship suffocates… 9. Low sex drive – there are those lucky few who feel a boost in their sex drive after the baby arrives but let’s face it, most of you hardly find time to go to the loo and have no energy to even shower or shave your legs, so sex drive?! Hm… 10. Romance just went out of the window – well, yeah. After an evening with tantrums, a dozen laundry loads and a night with bad sleep, who feels up for romance? 11. The past rears its ugly head – now that is a big one and certainly an issue that is least spoken of. When you become a parent, you are likely to start to re-live your childhood and see certain childhood issues transfer themselves into your relationship with your spouse. Lack of unconditional love from childhood, abandonment, arguments between parents and “traditional mom-dad roles” suddenly make their way into the new parents life. And.. yes, there is more… Many parents start to reflect on what they lost becoming parents – perhaps career opportunities, perhaps a great body and perfect physical shape, perhaps social life, perhaps intimacy, passion… The focus on what is missing may cloud the way you look at your spouse and makes it hard to speak to each other with empathy and compassion. 12. Mother- Wife-Father-Husband-Friend-Lover-Muse-Professional, perfectionist, high achiever or free spirit? The struggle to combine the different roles is real. 13. And to spice things up – arguments, resentment and blame come in to play. It is hard to take back harsh words, insults, hurt. And let’s face it, raising kids and keeping up a home is hardly ever a 50-50 so at any time point, there is always someone who gives more. And with all the points above, this can lead to resentment and blame. For expats, many of these issues are exacerbated due to lack of support from the grandparents or extended family, lack of close friends, differences in culture, language and societal norms, perceived limitations in opportunities for work, socialising, etc. And research shows most mixed marriages are at a higher risk of separation and divorce. Personally, I believe that mixed marriages have more opportunities, creativity and “out-of-the-box” resources to not only survive and thrive during the young parents stage but also to create lasting satisfaction and fun in marriage. But well, I am an expat, in a mixed relationship with multi-culti kids so you may call me biased So, with all these things in the mix, how do you create your “happily ever after becoming parents”? Here are a few tried and tested tips: 1. Think and act as a team – divide and conquer, and if the other person drops the ball, pick it up without blame. Invest in each other – time, energy, money, love. My personal moto is “whatever works” so throw away all the traditional norms, others’ expectations and “the Joneses and Kardashians” and do what works for you! 2. Keep the flame of romance and passion – and the key to that is intimacy, and the key to that is vulnerability. Tap into compassion and empathy. Be kind to yourself, first and foremost. Ensure you feel well, ensure your needs are met. And only then can you be strong enough to be present, supportive and kind to your spouse. 3. Set boundaries for you as a couple – I know you might feel like sending your biggest cooking pot on its way to my head as you read this but bear with me here and keep an open mind, ok? We live in a society that is very child-centred. There is so much pressure that you put your child first but there is a BIG problem with that notion. If you sacrifice yourself, your partner or your relationship in the process, your child will actually suffer. Safety aside, the best thing for a child is a happy home! And if “mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” or as some put it, happy wife – happy life. 4. Praise your partner in public! And apologise in public! – a compliment is 100x more powerful if you say it in public. Lead by example. 5. Always align your parenting strategies – this is another one where you might feel like throwing a pan in my direction but again, “Do it now. Believe it later.” So, listen up! The agreement between parents is more important than what they agree on. Food, sweets, screen time, sleep time, discipline, learning – to your child, it matters more that you agree than what you actually agree on. Research data on what food and routine is best for your child changes all the time, so don’t get stuck on the latest research and set your rules by that. Find out what you and your partner can agree on and then make that the rule. How can you apply these tips to your relationship and create your “happily ever after”? Here is a present for all of the readers of this blog – a bonus 50 min, personal strategy call with Polya Rosin, Sweden’s #1 Relationship Strategist. Normally, this comes at a price of 1500 SEK but for you, readers – it is FREE! This is a one-time, limited offer so take this chance to boost the connection with your partner, to see how you can bring in more intimacy in your marriage and to talk about the strategies to help you become a strong, united parenting team Book your complimentary call strategy session at: https://polyarosin.as.me/schedule.php?appointmentType=8738603 Polya Rosin helps couples create healthy relationships for a happy life. Polya is She is a certified coach and a scientist with over 11 years of experience in health and wellbeing. She is a mum of three kids, an expat since the age of 18, she has a multicultural bonus family and is a strong advocate for passionate life and happy families. Visit the Parent Resources page for more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions.  If you start seeing that your baby is struggling to take a nap, here are a few things to keep in mind.
First, make sure that you have worked on your baby’s awake window, have set up their room for sleep, and have a good nap time routine in place. If your baby still isn’t sleeping well for their nap, next think if they are going through a developmental stage or regression time. When babies are learning a new skill, it can often interfere with sleep. Also, make sure your baby doesn’t have any sleep props to help fall asleep as these will often result in short naps. If the above aren’t causing short or no naps, here are a few cues that it might be time to drop a nap.
Generally, your baby will drop a nap around these ages: 4 to 5 months – 4 naps to 3 naps 6 to 7 months – 3 naps to 2 naps 13 to 17 months – 2 naps to 1 nap 24 to 36 months – 1 nap to 0 naps If your baby starts showing some of these signs and they are within the age range of dropping a nap, then it’s probably time to adjust nap times! You can find example age schedules at the bottom of this page! Here’s how to drop a nap There are three options that I find work best when dropping a nap time. The first is to let it happen naturally. On some days your baby may take a nap and on other days they may not. This works well for easy-going babies and also easy-going parents. You can read more about temperament here. This option can take a month to adjust to the new nap times. Option two is to keep your baby awake by 15 to 30 minutes longer to help adjust to the change. You will keep them awake with extra play, daylight, or a snack. Limit anything that can trigger sleepiness, such as breast or bottle feeding, car or stroller rides. This option helps your child to adjust to the new nap times, but remember that your baby may be a little cranky when stretching their awake time and this will take anywhere from a week to a month to get on to the new nap times. Crankiness will be normal! Bedtime may be a little earlier to help adjust to the change. Option three is to make the change to the new nap times. Similar to option two, you will keep them awake with extra play, daylight, or a snack. Limit anything that can trigger sleepiness, such as breast or bottle feeding, car or stroller rides. Your child will adjust fairly quickly (quickly can mean anywhere between three days to two weeks to make the change) but may be crankier while making this change. Bedtime may be a little earlier to help adjust to the change. Remember, any change is like a mini jet lag and your baby’s body needs time to adjust, which can take about two weeks. Stay consistent and your baby will adjust before you know! Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use my sleep book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions.  Just like adults, babies have different temperaments. Some are laid back and happy most of the time; others can be prone to frequent tantrums. Some babies enjoy a peaceful environment; others feel more comfortable when there is noise around. You may not realize, but the type of temperament that your little one has can affect their sleep, as well as having an effect on any sleep training that you provide.
When you are making changes to your child’s sleep, they may respond easily and go with the flow or they may protest for a while about it. This is where knowing your child’s temperament will help you when making changes and what to expect. Do you have a dandelion baby or an orchid baby? Dandelion baby Now first off, if you have a dandelion baby I’m not calling your child a weed! All I mean is that some babies are able to thrive no matter where they are and others need very specific conditions. Just like a dandelion they can adapt and thrive no matter what kind of environment they are in, like this dandelion, for example. It’s not in an ideal place for water, probably gets extremely hot in the bricks and the conditions are not ideal, but it’s growing and thriving without any problem. Before becoming a parent I thought this is how all babies were. Oh, how wrong I was! Orchid Baby Now take and orchid. An orchid needs conditions that are just right. Not too much water, not too much sun light, not too hot, not too cold, juuuuuuust right. If the conditions aren’t good then the orchid doesn’t thrive. I know because I had orchids living in Colorado and never had success with growing them but in Sweden they are like the easiest plant! If you have a child that needs very specific conditions, you know what I’m talking about. You’ll need to be very aware of their awake windows, naps times, routines, and room environment for sleeping. If your baby is an easy going dandelion If you have an easy going baby, the task of getting them to sleep through the night should be fairly simple. In fact, you may find that they do all of the work themselves. This type of baby is often a self-soother. This means that If they do wake up in the night they will usually fall asleep again in a few minutes. If this sounds like your baby, you should simply stick to a regular routine each night, so that they get to know that it’s time to sleep. If you do hear any crying during the night, you should use a technique that is a gradual way to help guide them to sleep but they will be able to start doing it more on their own fairly soon. Your little one may have been startled by waking up and just need a few minutes to settle, so leave them for about ten minutes before you investigate. However, self-soothers and easy going babies do not usually carry on crying. If the upset continues, it’s a good idea to check if there is a problem. If your baby is an orchid Every parent thinks their own child is special; even if their little one is difficult. However, some babies can be hard work; even if their parents will not admit it in public. If this sounds like your baby, the good news is that temperaments can change. Just because your baby is tantrum prone and attention seeking does not mean they will be a difficult toddler or teen. However, babies that are difficult still present a problem in the here and now. They are easily disturbed and upset and they want you to be there when they are. This results in frequent loud crying during the night. One thing you should never do if you have a child with this type of temperament is adopt the ‘cry it out’ technique. Some babies will just keep crying for hours, until they get attention. This is not good for the baby, or anyone else in the household. This does not mean you should let your baby rule your nights either. Here are some tips that you may find useful.
Orchid babies will let you know if they are not happy and they are usually a bit loud about it. Be ready for this when making changes to sleep, or well, anything! The fact is that many babies veer from being easy going to demanding, at a moment’s notice. There can be many reasons for this such as:
The best way to deal with this may be to use a gradual approach to not answering their signals at night. You can start by popping your head into your baby’s room to check on them, and then get them gradually used to you not coming straight away when they cry. If they wake up at night, you first wait only a minute or two. Then the next night you start increasing the time by another one to two minutes until you are up to ten minutes. If they just want to grab your attention, and you do not provide it, they will often get bored and go back to sleep. However, all babies are different, so be prepared to be flexible. Some will be more persistent than others when it comes to this! By the time you are ready to make changes to your baby’s to sleep, you should have a good idea of their personality. Use this knowledge to help you find a sleep training technique that works best for you and your child. Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use my sleep book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions.  The concept of training a baby to sleep may sound a little strange to you as a parent. Surely, a child should enjoy and benefit from natural sleep, rather than be trained. That’s what I thought in the beginning too! Then I had a baby who needed help understanding when it was time to sleep and what that feeling meant in her body. The thing about training your child is that it can actually help them, and you, to get the right amount of restful sleep. It’s a way of protecting your baby and keeping them healthy and happy. Training or practicing healthy sleep habits is no different than your baby learning how to eat or crawl on their own. Both take time, practice, and patience.
The most important thing to remember is that every child is different, as is every family. What works in one home may not work in another. There are different methods to help your baby sleep so, take a look at the ones mentioned here to create a sleep training routine for your baby that fits your family. What does sleep training involve? Sleep training is simply a way for you to help your child understand how to sleep, so that they get the rest they need. For the first four months of your baby’s life, you really just need to go with the flow. The way your child sleeps will depend on basic needs such as feeding and changing. But what you can do from early on is set up their room for sleep (dark, cool, quiet) and begin simple and consistent sleep routines (feed, song, sleep) to help develop these habits early on. Once your child is around four months old they are usually ready for more routines and sleep guidance but these simple steps will help make this transition. If your child still seems reluctant to sleep for longer periods, do not worry. As I mentioned earlier, every child is different. Your baby may simply need to be a little older before they can begin to understand how to sleep for longer. First steps in sleep training The first thing you need to think about when sleep training a baby is having a routine in place.
The three main baby sleep training methods You will see several sleep training methods mentioned by experts. No one method is best, you simply need to find the method that works in your situation. Let’s take a look at the three main methods, which can be varied to suit. Cry it out This is the method is as it sounds. You place your baby in their crib and you leave the room and return at regular intervals to help soothe. This does not mean that you should just leave your baby crying for hours. If attempting this method, it’s best to place your baby in their crib before they get too tired. Let them cry for a while when you leave and go back to soothe them if necessary. In this method you do not pick your baby up; simply soothe them with your voice. This method can be difficult for some parents to manage. Although this is the method many pediatricians advice parents to use, I believe there are better ways to help a baby develop health sleep habits. This method may not suit all families. Before I knew anything about baby sleep we attempted this method for about 10 minutes and gave up. Now I know that there are better ways to help a child, but if you do use this method, be sure that their room is set up for sleep and they have a consistent routine in place before sleep. No tears This is the complete opposite of the cry it out approach. As soon as your baby cries, you should comfort and soothe them immediately. The problem you may find is that some babies tend to be more attention seeking than others. If your baby knows you will come if they cry, training them to sleep could be a long process. You will need a lot of patience and time with using this method. I find this method to be very difficult because it takes a very long time to see results. Maybe your baby isn’t crying but you are because you are so tired. I also tried this method and it was too exhausting to continue. Fading This method of baby sleep training is popular with a lot of parents and one that has a nice balance of learning and love. It involves moving further away from your child’s crib each night as they fall asleep. They get used to you being at arm’s length and then not being in the room and it’s a gradual process. Fading also involves checking your baby but making it less obvious over time so that eventually they are not even aware of your presence. This is what I base my sleep plans and support on and think that parent assisted changes make for the perfect balance between loving boundaries and loving support from you. You may need to try different methods to find the one that works best for your baby and for you. Do not simply expect that what worked for a previous child will work with the baby you are currently training to sleep. Be prepared to adapt and change routines and methods until you settle on what works the best. My best tip is to decide on a method, make a plan, try it for one week, take notes to see any positive changes (even small ones), and then decide if it’s working for you and your baby. Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use my sleep book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions.  Hi, I’m Courtney Landin. I became a certified infant and child sleep specialist because I learned first-hand why sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique. I know it sounds funny, but it wasn’t at the time and if you are experiencing it, you know what I mean. Throughout my training I have learned that sleep is extremely important for our bodies, brains, and emotions. I am passionate about helping other families with their sleep issues because there is a solution! My one-on-one coaching, customized sleep plan, and continued support will help your family get the rest and happiness you deserve.
I am committed to helping other people find balance in life. With my experience and education, I can assist you and your family with daily life, healthy eating, and happy sleep! I will save you time with trying to find the right method, schedule, routines, and countless hours of reading and questioning what you are trying to do. Through personal experience and numerous hours of studying, I have found a method that works wonders for babies and children to achieve happy sleep! Contact me to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to assess your child’s sleep needs! For a sleep consultation we will discuss your child’s sleep history, your main concerns, and a method on how to begin working on a solution. For a nutrition consult we will discuss your nutrition goals, areas for change, and steps on how to continue with a program. Want to learn more about how and why I became a sleep coach? Read more here! Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use my sleep book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions.  Wouldn’t it be great if you could understand your baby before they know how to speak? Babies are amazing, teachable beings who absorb more information than we give them credit for. There is a way to understand basic needs that your baby has by teaching them some baby sign language. It sounds more daunting than it is! Here are some benefits to baby sign language that will help shed some light on why this is a worthwhile task for you and your baby.
Teaching baby signs:
In the book, baby sign language basics by Monta Briant, the author describes how her daughter was able to communicate her fear about a sound she was hearing. If Briant hadn’t taught her daughter signs, she would have never known that the sounds coming from the window sounded like scary elephants to her daughter! To tell you the truth, when I read about this in the book I was a little skeptical. But I had seen simple baby signs work with other kids and knew that it was possible and wanted to teach my daughter this skill. It took a few weeks but, after her first sign I was blown away! She absorbed so many aspects of the day that pass me by as common occurrences! I once thought she was randomly waving while we were talking a walk but, I soon heard that she heard a siren and she was signing ‘siren!’ Silly me! There’s never a ‘right time’ or a ‘teaching’ time with signing. Start with common words and it will become easy and effortless for you. Your baby is in a constant state of learning therefore, adding signs won’t be any added stress for them! It does take time so, keep with it! Don’t get discouraged if after a couple of weeks your baby isn’t signing yet. Start with a few simple signs, take for example dog, drink, food, and ‘more’ to begin. You don’t need to sign every word in your sentences but, pick a few key words to help communicate. It will be a huge pay off when you see your child make their first sign! I can guarantee that you will want to learn and teach them more! The long-term benefits for your child are encouraging but if anything, it will amaze you on a daily basis as to how much your baby can tell you with a few simple signs! Happy signing! Enjoy the links below and start signing with your baby today! Click here for 30 sign videos (5 signs per video) to get you started! Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use my sleep book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions.  I’ve been in a tired mom’s slippers. I understand the frustration about conflicting advice in baby books, especially about sleep. Before I had my daughter, I thought babies slept when they were tired. I heard from several friends about how much their baby slept in the newborn stage; going off of these comments I planned to continue MBA classes two months after her birth figuring that I had plenty of time to read while she slept! Oh boy was I wrong! My baby RARELY slept. And never wanted to be put down. Gone were the days of my envisioned pleasant time with my newborn. Instead it was filled with walking, rocking, more walking, and more rocking, and lots of crying. At about two months old I started asking friends for advice and what books to read. It seemed simple enough. Create a schedule and stick to it. But that didn’t work at all. Nothing worked that I was trying and that’s why only reading books isn’t enough sometimes.
It turned out that part of the problem was a milk protein allergy and once that was settled things started to get much better. Except that she didn’t know what a bed was or how to go to sleep without rocking, nursing, or walking. It would take up to an hour for her to fall asleep and she slept for less than the time it took to get her to sleep. I realized I needed help beyond what I was reading. That’s when I found a daytime and night time routine that fit us and then things changed. I knew this was a solution for many other parents as well and decided to get certified as a sleep consultant. I’ve read countless books, numerous articles on line, and case studies about sleep for my sleep training certification. Many have different takes on how to help babies sleep. But the main point of the different approaches is that they are different for a reason. Not all babies are the same and the same approach won’t work for all babies or parenting styles. It can be extremely frustrating when a mom is sleep deprived and needs help but doesn’t know what advice to follow. That’s when many seek the help of someone to tell them what needs to be done. That’s why there are sleep consultants. We teach the parents the correct methods that will work for their child and their parenting style. For some babies and parents it only requires pinpointing small parts of the routine that needs to change. For others it is a longer process. As a sleep consultant, I know that The Happy Sleep Plan, along with my personalized coaching works. I also know how to ask the right questions to tailor a Happy Sleep Plan to the child’s temperament and parent’s frayed nerves. After working with so many parents, I decided to write 'Happy Sleeping Baby ~ Your guide for sleep success' because there isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. BUT there are general tips that all parents need to have in place for their baby to sleep well. I help step you through setting up for sleep, and offer you three different sleep solutions for you to find what's right for your family. You'll also find out what you can and can't affect when it comes to sleep! You can find more info or order my book here. There are also other free resources you can use on the Parent Resources page, such as sample schedules and more tips to help your baby sleep! Read the article that I based this post off of here: Exhausted New Mom’s Hilarious Take on ‘Expert’ Sleep Advice  I know how hard it can be to not get a full night of rest for months on end. You prepare for sleepless nights for the first few weeks after bringing baby home, but if you are still waking up every two hours or less after eight months you are probably at the end of your rope, right? I know, I’ve been there. Luckily, babies can learn to sleep through the night with the help of their parents. Every baby is different and it’s important for parents to know their baby’s temperament to determine when their child is capable of sleeping through the night. Parents do their best to care for their baby, but unknowingly we create sleep associations that our babies rely on to fall asleep. Sleep associations, or sleep props, can be feeding to sleep, rocking, singing, carrying, or taking a stroller ride to fall to sleep. At no fault to the baby or the parent, they begin to associate falling asleep with these actions. Once these actions stop, the baby wakes up and needs the same action to fall asleep again. Sound familiar?
The solution can be simple by adjusting the baby’s schedule and sleep associations and they will eventually sleep soundly for naps and through the night. But sometimes the tricky part is knowing exactly what to do because it sounds so simple! After working with so many parents, I decided to write 'Happy Sleeping Baby ~ Your guide for sleep success' because there isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. BUT there are general tips that all parents need to have in place for their baby to sleep well. I help step you through setting up for sleep, and offer you three different sleep solutions for you to find what's right for your family. You'll also find out what you can and can't affect when it comes to sleep! You can find more info or order my book here. There are also other free resources you can use on the Parent Resources page, such as sample schedules and more tips to help your baby sleep! If you need more personalized support, don't hesitate to contact me here. I totally understand how tricky it can be to figure out a child's sleep when all you need is a good night of sleep yourself. If your baby or child is not sleeping well it can take a toll on the whole family. Anxiety, stress, frustration, and anger can arise because the whole family isn’t sleeping well. If this is the case for you and your family, then you need The Happy Sleep Plan! But what is The Happy Sleep Plan?
The Happy Sleep Plan is a customized ten-day, five component plan for your child and family to learn healthy, happy routines for successful nights and naps. This plan gives you the means to develop healthy sleep habits for your child. This isn’t just a solution for their childhood; it is providing them healthy sleep habits for life. This process also provides you with more knowledge about your child and how to be a better parent. By answering a questionnaire about your child’s sleep habits and daytime activities, I will design an ideal schedule and bedtime routine that we will adjust along the journey to happy sleep. In the Personalized Happy Sleep Plan we will develop a custom schedule, have a 90 minute discussion about the plan and answer questions, you will receive one-on-one support through the first evening of the program, follow-up email support, phone support, a private parent group if you have questions following the program, and most importantly you will receive personalized encouragement and guidance throughout the program to ensure results. This plan works because I provide the guidance and answer questions for you when you are unsure about what to do! Everyone can read a book about sleep, but it’s receiving the guidance that makes the changes successful and saves you time and energy with figuring out how to implement the strategy and if you are doing it correctly. The best part about The Happy Sleep Plan is the experience and knowledge you gain with helping your child sleep better! This isn’t a ten-day program and then it’s over. This is a skill set for life that you are developing for your child! They will be happier, healthier children from getting the proper amount of sleep each day and night. Once your child is rested they will have less irritability and mood swings. They will be a happier child and you will be a happier parent! Make sleep a priority for your family because it is vital to growth, development, and our moods! Then we can all feel this happy!  Every year around Taylor’s birthday I always think back to her birth day. She is nearing five years old and her birth still feels like yesterday. Even though it’s still fresh in my mind, I thought I’d share our story before it becomes lost in the memory bank since every year is filled with new experiences and memories.
Finding out I was pregnant right before my 33rd birthday came as a surprise. I just moved to Stockholm, Sweden six months prior and having a baby was, just barely, on my radar. I did have this funny thing about having a baby born in 2013 though. You see, 13 is my lucky number from competing at the Olympics and it’s sort of stuck with me since. I know, the weird things we hold on to, right!? Anyway, although the year 2013 was approaching, the timing of having a baby just wasn’t right. I was starting to learn Swedish (and still am….), I was trying to find a job after uprooting my life, adjusting to life in a new country, and oh, so much more that I could tell you about. Moving to a new country comes with many challenges you just can’t prepare for. Learning that I was pregnant was exciting, shocking, scary, and serendipitous all at the same time and I’m sure many of you can relate. I wanted to have a calm pregnancy, timed just right, but the cards were not lined up for that; when are they ever? Overall, my pregnancy was great. I did have many days of feeling nauseous, wondering if I was going to make it into work, then getting to work and feeling like I needed a nap already, and there was one incident of throwing up in a trash can on a side street in Stockholm. But I also had some great days too. I was able to exercise throughout most of the pregnancy, bike to work on most days, and overall felt ok. My pregnancy progressed normally and by the final month I began having more regular checks as my doctor thought I was too small. I did not feel small, that’s for sure! Luckily, I didn’t feel too stressed about these extra checks, in fact they brought me calm since most women don’t get as many check-ups during their pregnancy. The check-ups were all fine, I felt fine, and having exercised through my pregnancy I may not have gained extra weight that is considered normal. My birth prep was probably considered abnormal. Since I was new in Sweden, figuring out where to find birth info was a bit tricky but, luckily, for the Internet and a few English library books, my own version of birth prep had to do. I read a hypnobirthing book, which was a really great guide on how to listen to your body. I found it interesting and after many years as a high-level athlete, I knew how much mental preparation was important and envisioning the birth was just as good as going through it. Your body can prepare without actually going through the actual event. My due day came and went, by ten days. I carried on as normal as I could and the day before Taylor was born I was working from home. I had taken a walk at lunch time and I remember feeling so tired afterwards. Like a tired that you can’t fight. I ended up lying down for a little bit because I couldn’t keep myself awake. In hind sight, my body knew. I went to bed that night and around 4 am I got out of bed needing to go to the bathroom. My body didn’t feel right and I had some pains. Nothing crazy but I didn’t feel right. About an hour later I got out of bed and went to the couch because I was starting to have pain and I didn’t want to wake Daniel up. He did wake up though and came out to find me sitting on the couch, as I started to have pains that were not possible to stay quiet about any longer. Obviously, it was finally time! Daniel called the hospital and they told us to wait a little longer. My labor had just started they said, so deal with the pain at home for a while and call back in a couple of hours. Around 6 am I started throwing up and needing to go to the bathroom. My body wanted EVERYTHING out. We called again around 7 am and said it might be time for us to come in but they said, ‘take a shower to deal with the pain.’ I did that but at this point I think I was past “take a shower to deal with the pain” and was throwing up in the shower. Water did not soothe anything that was happening! I remember texting my mom a little earlier and she had said, “go in sooner than later. It can go quick.” I told Daniel to get the car because I was so nauseous that I didn’t want to be in the car feeling any worse than I was. I held on to a bucket the entire drive to Huddinge Sjukhus (Hospital). We arrived around 8 am, they took me into a room and I was 4 cm dilated. A bit to still go. :/ My birthing plan was to do this naturally, no pain meds so we started with acupuncture. Not long afterwards we were escorted to a room and the pain was crazy. I felt like my insides were trying to come out and basically they were. They gave me some oxygen but that made me feel claustrophobic. I couldn’t even stand anyone too close to me so, forget about soothing backrubs! Instead, I basically started going into a zone which, was weird at the time but really cool too. I was there but I wasn’t all at the same time. The pain became so bad that I gave in and asked for the epidural. Just as I was about to get it, I waved the doctor off because a contraction was coming. It was a big one and my water just broke at that time. It turned out to be too late to get the epidural. I am so grateful for that though! The pain was crazy and I remember making the loudest noises due to the pain but, being able to feel a baby come out of your body is a wild experience. Taylor was born just a short while later at 10:54 am on October 3, 2013. Giving birth is an experience like no other and such an incredible bonding process with the baby. Although we celebrate the kids on their birth days, I think us mamas deserve a bit of a head nod for the whole process! Want to read more about how I became a sleep coach? Read more here!  We have just gotten back from a month long trip to visit family and friends in Colorado and it was fun, but it definitely had some tough moments. One of the things I enjoy about being a sleep consultant is that I really can understand my kiddo. It doesn’t mean that it makes parenting any easier at times but, at least I can understand or begin to understand why some meltdowns happen. And we seemed to have a lot of meltdowns on our trip. Not all meltdowns were sleep related but being a sleep consultant made me dive into learning about child development, temperament, parenting styles, and mental health. I saw how connected all of these were to sleep. A month trip can be a long time for a kiddo, especially for a sensitive kiddo who, like my daughter, loves her routines and being in her own space. If you are unfamiliar with the term ‘sensitive child‘, or ‘spirited child’, (I would encourage you take a look at the links attached to those terms). Seeing early on that she is reactive to her environment and very sensitive to sounds lead me to read more about is the topic. Being a sensitive person myself, I really can understand what my daughter needs. It took me a long time to understand myself as a sensitive person and hopefully I can help her understand herself much earlier in life. Back to our trip and those meltdowns We seemed to have many meltdowns and arguments with her on our trip. That’s not saying we don’t deal with more than our fair share at home but, it was more than normal. Now, I know she’s only four and meltdowns happen but, I hate meltdowns. One of the hardest parts of parenting is the emotional rollercoaster of being happy one minute and then dealing with a meltdown the next. It has taken me close to five years to get used to her crying and being really upset to not have it spread over into my own mood. I’m not always successful but I’m working on it! Every meltdown made me think about what could be causing her to act the way she was acting. I would try and help her or make adjustments but it wasn’t always possible. As I reflect on our trip, it’s easy to see why we had so many meltdowns when she is dealing with a list of changes, and these are just a few!
Reflecting back on our trip it amazes me how much we do and go through without giving ourselves more credit when we handle all that we do, especially kids. It would have been easy to give in and just make her happy when she was having a meltdown but being away for one month just didn’t make that possible. It would have been even harder on us coming back to our normal routines. There’s never an easy route and just because you try a method and it doesn’t go well, it doesn’t mean you should give up (same advice goes for sleep!). I realize that dealing with meltdowns is a skill and it’s a constant work in progress, whether on a trip or not. Here are my general guidelines to try and reduce meltdowns:
So, what do you do when meltdowns happen both for the kiddo and the adult, cause let’s be honest here, it happens. Give each other time to cool down and then come back to the talk it out. Talk about what happened, say you are sorry, talk about a game plan for the next time it happens. In the past when I’ve read help articles I used to think, ‘great, now I know exactly what to do and we’ll never have a problem again!’ But then the situation occurred again and we were right back to how it was even with trying the techniques. Keep in mind that with any changes you make there will be some trial and error and mistakes but, you must try and try again! Since being home I can see how much my daughter just needed some calm time to play on her own and process everything she experienced. It’s hard to provide this all the time but at least I can recognize this and help her find ways to manage it in the future. What did you see in your kiddos this summer? Each year they grow and develop and it can be so much fun to see this! Thanks for reading and I hope you had a wonderful summer!  As you know, I am absolutely passionate about the science behind sleep and helping you and your family finding your way to the sleep you need and deserve. What I’ve found along the way is that it’s not only sleep that weighs in. Nutrition and child development is as important and also goes hand in hand with sleep.
I think most of us have heard or read about the importance of talking to our children to help them with their speech and language development. But did you also know that this will help your kiddo later on in life with things like math, reading and social abilities? So no matter no matter what their age, it is important to talk to children. I always tell parents to tell their kids what they are doing so that they begin to understand but also because it’s great to hear so many words. “Children learn best from speech directed to them by their caregivers creating conversations that build on children’s interests.” And for those of you who are thinking that they can give their child the same benefits by having adult conversations when your child is with them I have to tell you that unfortunately ambient speech will not have the same results. Children thrive when being addressed and engaged in a conversation. This all sounds good but how do you do it without feeling foolish talking to yourself? Here are my top 5 tips on how to talk more with your kiddo to make it feel more natural: 1. Narrate your day. When I was on maternity leave I talked to baby T about what I was doing, what was around us, describing colors and shapes or talking about how things work. It could be things like, “Mama’s going to wipe your little bottom now and change your diaper so you don’t get a rash” or when out grocery shopping “We are going to need an apple, some carrots and broccoli for our salad today. What color apples do you think we should get? Red or green?”. 2. Sing and talk when playing with your kid. Play peek-a-boo and other games where you practice taking turns, talk about what you are playing and what is happening in your games. This also helps them understand how a conversation works. Sing songs where you use your body to describe what is going on, like “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or “Wheels On The Bus”. Describe the colors and sounds of toys you’re playing with, i.e. “The zebra is black with white stripes” or “What sound does the duck make?” 3. Talk about what is going to happen throughout the day. Like “Today we are going to go on a play date with your friend Oliver and in the afternoon we have a check up at BVC (healthcare center for children in Sweden) to weigh and measure you.”I’ve found that as your child grows it is actually quite good to talk to them about what activities you have planned for the day. It gives them a sense of control knowing what’s up next. And even if they don’t remember, you can remind them throughout the day of what the plans were, i.e. “We’ve met your friend and after lunch we’re off to BVC”. It doesn’t eliminate tantrums entirely but it helps your child feel more included in what’s going on and not be ambushed by new things. 4. Encourage others to talk to your child! Grandma’s, grandpa’s, friends who also interact with your kiddo, ask them to engage in conversation with them and let them know of the benefits of doing this. 5. Read to your child. Books stimulate your child’s imagination and you can also pause and ask them questions while reading. For example “What do you think will happen next?” Let me know what tips and advice you have for talking more with your children in the comments below! Resources: Talking with children matters: Defending the 30 million word gap Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Erika Hoff, Meredith Rowe, Catherine Tamis-LeMonda, and Kathy Hirsh-PasekMonday, May 21, 2018 https://www.brookings.edu/blog/education-plus-development/2018/05/21/defending-the-30-million-word-gap-disadvantaged-children-dont-hear-enough-child-directed-words/ Barns språkutveckling 19 Apr 2018, kl 08:11 http://www.babyhjalp.se/barns-sprakutveckling/ Here are a few of the newest Happy Sleep Testimonials right here! Just think, you too could be enjoying better sleep!
“Courtney was my guide to back to sleep. As a new mom I didn’t know anything about the right sleep patterns of an infant. With her knowledge and schedule the whole house, including the dog, is sleeping better. Thanks for being so patient and helping find the right solution for my baby’s sleeping problem. ” – Tristan Geisler 2002 Olympic Gold Medalist, Skeleton “Courtney worked with my wife and me to determine a course of action when our son was waking in the night. He’s now a sound sleeper!”– Eric and Rachel “I just have to say to all who are considering asking Courtney to help you and your child with The Happy Sleep Plan – she is amazing! We are in the middle of our program and it is not easy with our son and Courtney is there every step of the way! It is a great support and I encourage everybody to get help like this for the benefit of their child!” – R. L. Continue reading more testimonials here! Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use my sleep book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions.  Your baby is asleep, now what? You could do dishes or laundry but… you could also do something for yourself. Exercise is one of the most beneficial, natural, and easy elements that you can use to increase your health and wellness, especially after having your baby. That’s why I’ve created this 12 minute workout for you to do any time and any place that suits you. And if you want more than 12 minutes, just double (or triple) the workout! **When exercising after having a baby, keep in mind that your core endurance and strength will be your main focus during each exercise. Be sure to gently engage your whole core (gently contract from the top, sides and your pelvic floor muscles) before each movement.** Here’s how you get started: Set your phone timer (or use an interval timer app), put on some music and begin. The short list Get started: Set your phone timer (or use an interval timer app), put on some music and begin. Workout: perform each exercise for 30 seconds Bring it to the next level: perform each exercise for 45 seconds to 60 seconds.
Exercise Instructions: Warm up for 2 minutes. Ideas for warming up:
 modified jumping jacks  jump rope  Star pose Burpee: start standing, put your hands on the floor, step or jump back with your feet to a plank position, do a push up, step your feet back to your hands, come back to standing, and then jump (if you want to).  Begin standing  Come down into a plank position, push up  Come back to standing  Jump Wall sit: come down into a sitting position with your legs in a 90° position. Keep your wieght on the middle to the back of your foot, not your toes. Bring it to the next level: raise one leg at a time for 5 to 10 seconds, or as long as you can hold. Keep most of your weight on the middle to back part of your feet, not your toes!   Push ups Choose either to begin on your knees or your toes. You can use your fists if the exercise is hard on your wrists. Remember to keep your core tight while you perform push ups.     Lunges – 15 seconds each side Static lunges: start in a lunge position and bend both knees to come closer to the ground. Bring it to the next level by starting in a standing position and then stepping forward and then coming back to the standing position. *For both exercises keep most of your weight on the middle to back part of your feet, not your toes!*  Static lunge  Moving lunge starting position Triceps Start in a reverse quadraped position, making sure that your hands are in a comfortable position behind your body. Try to keep your hands closer to your body as having them out farther will put strain on your shoulders. Then push the hips up by squeezing the bum. Dip down by bending the elbows straight back and then come back up and push the hips up by squeezing the bum. If your elbows bow out to the sides you’ll lose contact with the triceps muscle so try to keep you elbows bending straight back behind you and not bending out to the sides.   Hip press Lay on your back with your feet at a comfortable distance from your body. Squeeze the bum muscles and push up with your hips. There’s no need to push the hips up and over extend your back. Try to keep a neutral spine and only push up as high as is comfortable for your body. Be sure to push with your heels and squeeze your bum muscles as your come up.   Shoulder push up You can use your fists if the exercise is hard on your wrists. Start in a downward facing dog position or the beginning of a handstand position. Bend your elbows and bring the top of your head down as close to the ground as possible. Push back up to the starting position.   Calf raises – 10 seconds on each side Look at the toe positions below. Preform 10 seconds in each position.    Core – 2 mins Crunch: Feet on the floor or legs at 90°. Bring your shoulders up, hold, and come back down. Repeat. Keep your chin in a neutral position and envision an apple under your chin and on your chest.   Side to sides: come up into a crunch position and then rotate side to side by touching your hands to your heels.   Bring it to the next level: repeat the workout by using the two minute warm up time as two minute cardio. Or finish your workout with stretching. Stretch Sit in a wide leg position, toes pointing up, keep your back straight and bend forward as far as it’s comfortable for you.   Next, come back up to a straight back and bend over to the side by first reaching your hand up in the air and then stretching over to the side.   Next, cross one leg over the other and hug your kneed into your chest. Hold and repeat on the other side.
 From the time you find out you are pregnant until the day the baby arrives is a time filled with changes and preparations. Here is a (short) list of must-know highlights of what to expect!
The first trimester (Months 1-3) Month 1 (weeks 1-4)
Month 2 (weeks 5-8)
Month 3 (weeks 9-13)
The second trimester (Months 4-6) During the second trimester you’ll most likely have the most energy but, everyone is different. Now you’ll start to look pregnant and really start to feel pregnant too! But you still may be wearing your normal clothes; they are just getting a bit tight! Month 4 (weeks 14-17)
Month 5 (weeks 18-21)
Month 6 (weeks 22-26)
The third trimester (Months 7-9) Month 7 (weeks 27-30)
Month 8 (weeks 31-35)
Month 9 (weeks 36-40+)
What’s next! Now is the time to prepare yourself for the first several weeks with your newborn. A Happy Sleep Plan will give you the knowledge to get you and your baby sleeping and feeling great in no time! A Happy Sleep Plan includes:
Want more information about helping your baby sleep? Use my sleep book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here. Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep! Or get in touch if you have more questions.  I met Bodil, the creator of Magpodden and professional photographer, at UnderBara Barn, Sweden’s largest child fair. Her booth was beautiful and filled with pictures of sleeping babies. She stopped by my booth and we started talking about several different topics from sleeping baby pictures to our commonalities, such as her husband being American! We really seemed to hit it off and soon after the fair we got together for lunch.
Along with many of Bodil’s talents is her passion to connect with people and it shows in her podcast, Magpodden ( Not exactly sure how to translate this but it’s ‘The Belly Podcast’). In our interview (which starts in Swedish but then goes to English!) we talk about becoming a mom and particularly how I became a child sleep specialist. It’s a journey that I’m sure you’ll find some similarities with having a newborn and becoming a first time mom. Click here to hear the podcast and happy listening! Learn more about Bodil’s photography and The Exclusive Baby Shower event that she has arranged for mamas! |
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