Every year around Taylor’s birthday I always think back to her birth day. She is nearing five years old and her birth still feels like yesterday. Even though it’s still fresh in my mind, I thought I’d share our story before it becomes lost in the memory bank since every year is filled with new experiences and memories.

Finding out I was pregnant right before my 33rd birthday came as a surprise. I just moved to Stockholm, Sweden six months prior and having a baby was, just barely, on my radar. I did have this funny thing about having a baby born in 2013 though. You see, 13 is my lucky number from competing at the Olympics and it’s sort of stuck with me since. I know, the weird things we hold on to, right!? Anyway, although the year 2013 was approaching, the timing of having a baby just wasn’t right. I was starting to learn Swedish (and still am….), I was trying to find a job after uprooting my life, adjusting to life in a new country, and oh, so much more that I could tell you about. Moving to a new country comes with many challenges you just can’t prepare for. Learning that I was pregnant was exciting, shocking, scary, and serendipitous all at the same time and I’m sure many of you can relate. I wanted to have a calm pregnancy, timed just right, but the cards were not lined up for that; when are they ever?

Overall, my pregnancy was great. I did have many days of feeling nauseous, wondering if I was going to make it into work, then getting to work and feeling like I needed a nap already, and there was one incident of throwing up in a trash can on a side street in Stockholm. But I also had some great days too. I was able to exercise throughout most of the pregnancy, bike to work on most days, and overall felt ok.

My pregnancy progressed normally and by the final month I began having more regular checks as my doctor thought I was too small. I did not feel small, that’s for sure! Luckily, I didn’t feel too stressed about these extra checks, in fact they brought me calm since most women don’t get as many check-ups during their pregnancy. The check-ups were all fine, I felt fine, and having exercised through my pregnancy I may not have gained extra weight that is considered normal.

My birth prep was probably considered abnormal. Since I was new in Sweden, figuring out where to find birth info was a bit tricky but, luckily, for the Internet and a few English library books, my own version of birth prep had to do. I read a hypnobirthing book, which was a really great guide on how to listen to your body. I found it interesting and after many years as a high-level athlete, I knew how much mental preparation was important and envisioning the birth was just as good as going through it. Your body can prepare without actually going through the actual event.

My due day came and went, by ten days. I carried on as normal as I could and the day before Taylor was born I was working from home. I had taken a walk at lunch time and I remember feeling so tired afterwards. Like a tired that you can’t fight. I ended up lying down for a little bit because I couldn’t keep myself awake. In hind sight, my body knew. I went to bed that night and around 4 am I got out of bed needing to go to the bathroom. My body didn’t feel right and I had some pains. Nothing crazy but I didn’t feel right. About an hour later I got out of bed and went to the couch because I was starting to have pain and I didn’t want to wake Daniel up. He did wake up though and came out to find me sitting on the couch, as I started to have pains that were not possible to stay quiet about any longer. Obviously, it was finally time!

Daniel called the hospital and they told us to wait a little longer. My labor had just started they said, so deal with the pain at home for a while and call back in a couple of hours. Around 6 am I started throwing up and needing to go to the bathroom. My body wanted EVERYTHING out. We called again around 7 am and said it might be time for us to come in but they said, ‘take a shower to deal with the pain.’ I did that but at this point I think I was past “take a shower to deal with the pain” and was throwing up in the shower. Water did not soothe anything that was happening! I remember texting my mom a little earlier and she had said, “go in sooner than later. It can go quick.” I told Daniel to get the car because I was so nauseous that I didn’t want to be in the car feeling any worse than I was. I held on to a bucket the entire drive to Huddinge Sjukhus (Hospital).

We arrived around 8 am, they took me into a room and I was 4 cm dilated. A bit to still go. :/ My birthing plan was to do this naturally, no pain meds so we started with acupuncture. Not long afterwards we were escorted to a room and the pain was crazy. I felt like my insides were trying to come out and basically they were. They gave me some oxygen but that made me feel claustrophobic. I couldn’t even stand anyone too close to me so, forget about soothing backrubs! Instead, I basically started going into a zone which, was weird at the time but really cool too. I was there but I wasn’t all at the same time. The pain became so bad that I gave in and asked for the epidural. Just as I was about to get it, I waved the doctor off because a contraction was coming. It was a big one and my water just broke at that time. It turned out to be too late to get the epidural. I am so grateful for that though! The pain was crazy and I remember making the loudest noises due to the pain but, being able to feel a baby come out of your body is a wild experience. Taylor was born just a short while later at 10:54 am on October 3, 2013.
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Giving birth is an experience like no other and such an incredible bonding process with the baby. Although we celebrate the kids on their birth days, I think us mamas deserve a bit of a head nod for the whole process!

Want to read more about how I became a sleep coach?  Read more here!

We have just gotten back from a month long trip to visit family and friends in Colorado and it was fun, but it definitely had some tough moments.  One of the things I enjoy about being a sleep consultant is that I really can understand my kiddo.  It doesn’t mean that it makes parenting any easier at times but, at least I can understand or begin to understand why some meltdowns happen.  And we seemed to have a lot of meltdowns on our trip.  Not all meltdowns were sleep related but being a sleep consultant made me dive into learning about child development, temperament, parenting styles, and mental health.  I saw how connected all of these were to sleep.

A month trip can be a long time for a kiddo, especially for a sensitive kiddo who, like my daughter, loves her routines and being in her own space. If you are unfamiliar with the term ‘sensitive child‘, or ‘spirited child’, (I would encourage you take a look at the links attached to those terms).
Seeing early on that she is reactive to her environment and very sensitive to sounds lead me to read more about is the topic. Being a sensitive person myself, I really can understand what my daughter needs.  It took me a long time to understand myself as a sensitive person and hopefully I can help her understand herself much earlier in life.

Back to our trip and those meltdowns

We seemed to have many meltdowns and arguments with her on our trip.  That’s not saying we don’t deal with more than our fair share at home but, it was more than normal.  Now, I know she’s only four and meltdowns happen but, I hate meltdowns.  One of the hardest parts of parenting is the emotional rollercoaster of being happy one minute and then dealing with a meltdown the next.  It has taken me close to five years to get used to her crying and being really upset to not have it spread over into my own mood.  I’m not always successful but I’m working on it!
Every meltdown made me think about what could be causing her to act the way she was acting.  I would try and help her or make adjustments but it wasn’t always possible.  As I reflect on our trip, it’s easy to see why we had so many meltdowns when she is dealing with a list of changes, and these are just a few!

• New environments and culture
• Speaking and learning a different language
• Meeting many new people
• Many activities
• Sleeping in a different bed
• Growing like crazy (new clothes again?!)

• Learning new skills
• Needing more alone time or space
• Being busy
• Overtired
• Development phases

Reflecting back on our trip it amazes me how much we do and go through without giving ourselves more credit when we handle all that we do, especially kids.

It would have been easy to give in and just make her happy when she was having a meltdown but being away for one month just didn’t make that possible.  It would have been even harder on us coming back to our normal routines.  There’s never an easy route and just because you try a method and it doesn’t go well, it doesn’t mean you should give up (same advice goes for sleep!).
I realize that dealing with meltdowns is a skill and it’s a constant work in progress, whether on a trip or not.  Here are my general guidelines to try and reduce meltdowns:

• Provide downtime. Some days it’s good just to watch a little t.v.and hang at home.
• Keep rules at home the same while on the road. Of course there will be some exceptions but the general guidelines stay the same majority of the time.  This helps provide consistency.  Less consistency means more meltdowns.
• Teach words to help describe a feeling. Are they tired, hungry, irritated by something else?
• Teach them how to fix the issue. Ask them “When you feel this way, what can I or you do to help?”  Guide them to find that emotion, teach them to understand their emotion and possibly how to fix the issue.​

So, what do you do when meltdowns happen both for the kiddo and the adult, cause let’s be honest here, it happens.  Give each other time to cool down and then come back to the talk it out.  Talk about what happened, say you are sorry, talk about a game plan for the next time it happens.  In the past when I’ve read help articles I used to think, ‘great, now I know exactly what to do and we’ll never have a problem again!’  But then the situation occurred again and we were right back to how it was even with trying the techniques.  Keep in mind that with any changes you make there will be some trial and error and mistakes but, you must try and try again!

Since being home I can see how much my daughter just needed some calm time to play on her own and process everything she experienced.   It’s hard to provide this all the time but at least I can recognize this and help her find ways to manage it in the future.

What did you see in your kiddos this summer?  Each year they grow and develop and it can be so much fun to see this!

Thanks for reading and I hope you had a wonderful summer!

As you know, I am absolutely passionate about the science behind sleep and helping you and your family finding your way to the sleep you need and deserve. What I’ve found along the way is that it’s not only sleep that weighs in. Nutrition and child development is as important and also goes hand in hand with sleep.

I think most of us have heard or read about the importance of talking to our children to help them with their speech and language development. But did you also know that this will help your kiddo later on in life with things like math, reading and social abilities?

So no matter no matter what their age, it is important to talk to children. I always tell parents to tell their kids what they are doing so that they begin to understand but also because it’s great to hear so many words.

“Children learn best from speech directed to them by their caregivers creating conversations that build on children’s interests.”

And for those of you who are thinking that they can give their child the same benefits by having adult conversations when your child is with them I have to tell you that unfortunately ambient speech will not have the same results. Children thrive when being addressed and engaged in a conversation.

This all sounds good but how do you do it without feeling foolish talking to yourself?

Here are my top 5 tips on how to talk more with your kiddo to make it feel more natural:

1. Narrate your day. 
When I was on maternity leave I talked to baby T about what I was doing, what was around us, describing colors and shapes or talking about how things work. It could be things like, “Mama’s going to wipe your little bottom now and change your diaper so you don’t get a rash” or when out grocery shopping “We are going to need an apple, some carrots and broccoli for our salad today. What color apples do you think we should get? Red or green?”.

2. Sing and talk when playing with your kid. 
Play peek-a-boo and other games where you practice taking turns, talk about what                you are playing and what is happening in your games. This also helps them understand how a conversation works. Sing songs where you use your body to describe what is going on, like “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or “Wheels On The Bus”. Describe the colors and sounds of toys you’re playing with, i.e. “The zebra is black with white stripes” or “What sound does the duck make?”

3. Talk about what is going to happen throughout the day. 
Like “Today we are going to go on a play date with your friend Oliver and in the afternoon we have a check up at BVC (healthcare center for children in Sweden) to weigh and measure you.”I’ve found  that as your child grows it is actually quite good to talk to them about what activities you have planned for the day. It gives them a sense of control knowing what’s up next. And even if they don’t remember, you can remind them throughout the day of what the plans were, i.e. “We’ve met your friend and after lunch we’re off to BVC”. It doesn’t eliminate tantrums entirely but it helps your child feel more included in what’s going on and not be ambushed by new things.

4. Encourage others to talk to your child! 
Grandma’s, grandpa’s, friends who also interact with your kiddo, ask them to engage in            conversation with them and let them know of the benefits of doing this.

5. Read to your child.
Books stimulate your child’s imagination and you can also pause and ask them questions while reading. For              example “What do you think will happen next?”
Let me know what tips and advice you have for talking more with your children in the comments below!

Resources:

Talking with children matters: Defending the 30 million word gap

Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Erika Hoff, Meredith Rowe, Catherine Tamis-LeMonda, and Kathy Hirsh-PasekMonday, May 21, 2018

https://www.brookings.edu/blog/education-plus-development/2018/05/21/defending-the-30-million-word-gap-disadvantaged-children-dont-hear-enough-child-directed-words/

Barns språkutveckling

19 Apr 2018, kl 08:11

http://www.babyhjalp.se/barns-sprakutveckling/

Here are a few of the newest Happy Sleep Testimonials right here!  Just think, you too could be enjoying better sleep!
“Courtney was my guide to back to sleep.  As a new mom I didn’t know anything about the right sleep patterns of an infant. With her knowledge and schedule the whole house, including the dog, is sleeping better. Thanks for being so patient and helping find the right solution for my baby’s sleeping problem. ”
– Tristan Geisler
2002 Olympic Gold Medalist, Skeleton

“Courtney worked with my wife and me to determine a course of action when our son was waking in the night. He’s now a sound sleeper!”– Eric and Rachel

“I just have to say to all who are considering asking Courtney to help you and your child with The Happy Sleep Plan – she is amazing! We are in the middle of our program and it is not easy with our son and Courtney is there every step of the way! It is a great support and I encourage everybody to get help like this for the benefit of their child!”
– R. L.

Continue reading more testimonials here!

Want more information about helping your baby sleep?  Use my sleep book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here.

Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep!  Or get in touch if you have more questions.

From the time you find out you are pregnant until the day the baby arrives is a time filled with changes and preparations.  Here is a (short) list of must-know highlights of what to expect!

The first trimester  (Months 1-3)

Month 1  (weeks 1-4)

• Your body will begin to change from day 1 starting with breast tenderness, possible light spotting, cramping, fatigue, food cravings, and many emotions! You won’t look pregnant but it might be the only thing you can think about!
• Now it’s time to avoid alcohol, deli meats, uncured meats (as may contain listeria), uncooked or raw fish and meat (yes, that means sushi that can cause toxoplasmosis), smoked fish (listeria, see above), raw eggs (salmonella), soft cheeses (brie, Camembert, Roquefort, feta, Gorgonzola as these may contain listeria) and wash all fruits and vegetables (again, toxoplasmosis).
• Look for pasteurized cheeses, milk products and juice.  Fresh juice can be unpasteurized so look at the label.
• Limit caffeine to less than 200 mg a day.  Generally one coffee per day is fine.
• Take a prenatal vitamin with folic acid.  Folic acid helps to prevent neural tube defects.
• If you aren’t exercising, now is the time to start.  Begin with walks or light workouts.
• Think about how much stress you experience and then reduce it!
• Log in some extra sleep!  It’s hard work growing a baby!

Month 2  (weeks 5-8)

• Again, breast tenderness, possible light spotting, cramping, fatigue, food cravings, and many emotions!
• Your breasts may start to enlarge at this time.
• See the food list above and memorize it!
• You might start to feel more bloated.
• Nausea might start to kick in.

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Month 3  (weeks 9-13)

• You could be feeling a bit more dizzy or light headed now.  Be sure to take it easy and sit down if you feel this way.
• Your appetite may be increasing!  Or decreasing if you are having nausea or “morning sickness” that can last all day. Try pressing on the insides of your wrists if you feel nauseous or use motion sickness bands.
• Constipation.  Use fiber.  ‘Nuff said.
• Headaches are common.  There are so many changes in your body taking place!
• You might be getting used to the fact that you are pregnant!​

Follow your growing baby with this fascinating week-by-week picture timeline!

The second trimester  (Months 4-6)

During the second trimester you’ll most likely have the most energy but, everyone is different.  Now you’ll start to look pregnant and really start to feel pregnant too!  But you still may be wearing your normal clothes; they are just getting a bit tight!

Month 4  (weeks 14-17)

• Swelling of the ankles, feet, hands and face are common.
• Nasal congestion is also quite common.
• You still might experience some nausea and dizziness.
• Headaches, indigestion, farts, and bloating are all part of the joys of pregnancy!
• Bleeding gums might occur when brushing your teeth, it’s ok.
• Same with occasional nose bleeds.  This is due to the increased blood flow in your body.  It’s also the cause of the pregnancy glow you have!
• You could be having a swing of happiness and then sadness all within a few minutes.  You aren’t going crazy, those are just your hormones going crazy.
• Everything in regards to eating, exercise, stress, caffeine, and sleep all still apply.
• Your baby is the size of a small apple!  Its lungs are breathing amniotic fluid, blood is pumping through its circulatory system, and the kidneys are filtering urine.

Follow your baby’s growth with these cool week-by-week pictures!

Month 5 (weeks 18-21)

• Your body is continuing to grow and things pretty much stay the same other than an increased appetite. Watch that you don’t start “eating for two.”  Most women only need to increase  their calorie intake by 300-500 calories.  Maintain a healthy diet with some indulgences, of course!  Keeping a healthy weight is important for you and baby in regards to diabetes, blood pressure, and overall health.
• You may experience backaches and trying to find a comfortable sleeping position.  A body pillow is a good support option.  Try to sleep on your left side as it helps circulation.
• You may experience your eyes becoming blurry.  This typically goes away after the baby is born.
• When wearing a seat belt, be sure the belt is across your lap and not over your belly.  For a shoulder harness, be sure the belt is between the breasts and at the top of the belly.
• Changes in your baby include tiny tooth buds that are popping up in your baby’s mouth!

Month 6 (weeks 22-26)

• Drink lots of water to keep up with the increased blood volume in your body, process nutrients, develop new cells, and regulate body temperature.
• If you have swelling in your legs, be sure to elevate them as much as possible when sitting.
• All rules in regards to eating and exercise still apply!
• You might only be able to fit through tight spaces walking forward instead of sideways now, if you haven’t already reached this point!
• Talk with your partner about how life will change.  Share excitement and worries about the changes ahead.
• Move that mama body!  Exercise helps prepare your body for birth, reduce stress, and keep those happy hormones flowing!
• If you haven’t already, you might be feeling the baby or babies moving!
• You might experience aches in your lower back and abdomen from your ligaments stretching and losing in preparation for birth.
• Inside your belly your baby’s eyes are able to open and fingers and toes have prints on them!
• Eating too much in general and before bedtime can increase heartburn.  Have five or six small meals during the day to help reduce heartburn.
• Start looking into attending a birthing class or types of birth methods now!
• Don’t forget to take some time with your partner!  Go to dinner or  take a short baby-moon trip!  Some airlines allow women to fly up to 36 weeks but others may restrict travel at 28 weeks.

The third trimester  (Months 7-9)

Month 7 (weeks 27-30)

• Congrats!  You are in the home stretch!
• You’re probably feeling quite pregnant now with cramps, swelling, shortness of breath, difficulty sleeping, backache, nasal congestion, clumsiness, constipation, headaches, and indigestion.  Sounds awesome, huh?!
• But it’s all worth it because inside of you is a beautiful baby who is becoming more aware of light, sound, and touch!
• Watch your step as your balance may be off a bit.  Your center of gravity is much different now so take it a little slower!
• Remember to work on any breathing techniques you plan to use during birth.

Month 8 (weeks 31-35)

• The final stretch!  So close but so far away still!
• Rest, rest, and get more rest.  Take this time to get a facial, massage, or extra sleep.  Trust me and a billion other mom’s when we say to just do it!  You are busy but taking care of yourself is extremely important right now.
• Your baby and uterus fills most of your torso right now.  Your size may be completely different that other mom who is 8 months pregnant.  Don’t compare as each person and pregnancy is different!
• Swelling and pain in your wrists (carpal tunnel syndrome) is very common.  Try not to cross your legs (if you can still)! The extra fluid in your body causes pressure on nerves which results in tingling sensations in your body.
• Your baby can hear distinct sounds now so say hi often!
• You’ll continue to put on weight but by this point it will be more because the baby is gaining weight and preparing for birth.
• Continue to eat an extra 300-500 calories and drink plenty of water.

Month 9 (weeks 36-40+)

• This is it, the final weeks!  It can feel like an eternity at this point so do your best to get outside for walks, hit the gym if you can, put your feet up, read a book, or watch some movies!  You won’t be doing these things for a while after the baby is born!
• Your baby may start to feel as if it’s getting lower in your abdomen.  This is due to your baby dropping lower into the birth canal as it prepares for entering the world soon!
• Braxton-Hicks contractions are very common and your belly may tighten for 30 seconds and then relax.  Your muscles are preparing your birth too!
• If you haven’t thought about how to contact your partner when the time comes, then you might want to consider having a plan in place…..just a thought……
• Get all final preparations done, such as washing baby’s clothes, washing sheets, stocking up on diapers, preparing some meals to put in the freezer, and having plenty of clean clothes for you too!
• Your baby has toe and finger nails now and her reflexes are developed to be able to blink, grasp an object and respond to sound and lights!
• Although it’s difficult, try hard to not count the minutes and seconds during this time.  Meet with friends and chat with other moms-to-be to take your mind off of your due date!

What’s next!

Now is the time to prepare yourself for the first several weeks with your newborn.  A Happy Sleep Plan will give you the knowledge to get you and your baby sleeping and feeling great in no time!  A Happy Sleep Plan includes:

• 60-minute consult to explain sleep cycles, stages, routines, and answer questions
• Ideal routine for your newborn
• Four follow-up e-mails, no expiration
• Happy Sleep group on Facebook for parents​

​Want more information about helping your baby sleep?  Use my sleep book which has everything you need to know about sleep! Learn more here.

Visit the Parent Resources page for sample schedules and more tips to help your kiddo sleep!  Or get in touch if you have more questions.